If you are wearing a black shirt, do not give a white cat a hug before you leave for work.
I think I have Jesus fish. I was pretty sure all the guppies in my fish tank were female. Male guppies usually have that little round spot on them. However this morning when I was peering into the tank I noticed a couple of new little fry fish swimming about. So, unless guppies go through some sort of asexual phase, and I have to admit my ichthyology biology is a little weak, then one of my fish have given a virgin birth. So I must have a little Jesus fish swimming around in there. I will keep an eye out for a halo.
One of my ghost shrimp is loaded up with eggs. This is not the first time I have seen this happen, unfortunately there never seems to be any baby ghost shrimp. I suppose they are simply too much of a tasty treat for the fish to resist, either that or once the ghost shrimp lays its egg some snail comes by and Hoovers them up.
My cheap wireless usb adapters I got form woot arrived last night. I have heard bad things from both people and on the web with these, and indeed I had to do a couple of manual adjustments before they worked, but they were up and running within fifteen minutes. Apparently when the manufacturers bundled up the software drivers for these, they made a mistake and the installer fails to copy a file over. So you have to manually move it. Then you have to manually throw the wireless controller program into your startup directory. But that was not a big deal to do, and I am pleased with my five-dollar adapters.
I have been eyeballing a wine-barrel table and chair set on ebay. They look pretty cool. I will bid on them and if I win they will be my new dinging room set.
http://i18.ebayimg.com/03/i/000/7e/7e/775a_1.JPG
Somehow I have lived to be 33 years old and I have never heard of 'smegma'. Probably the main reason is because the only penis I look at is my own, and I wash it daily. Also I am circumcised. For whatever reason the other day I was reading an online discussion of the pro's and cons of circumcision, and one dude claimed that cutting the foreskin leaves you with 'virtually no smegama'. Not know what it was, I looked it up on wiki. The pic they supply made me gag. Sure, in the past I have heard someone call someone 'Dick Cheese' but I never knew there was actually such a thing.
Due to the presence of this foul emission, I am going to have to place myself in the 'pro-circumcise' group. Get rid of that shit. It's like wisdom teeth, more trouble than it's worth. A recent article that said circumcised men have a 50 percent less of a chance of getting aids only affirms my belief. I have heard people state that uncircumcised makes sex 'more pleasurable'. Whatever. I have never had sex and then thought to myself 'gee, this would have been more fun if I had some extra skin flapping about down there'.
Ugh. Dick cheese.
2026 Update
Twenty years back, and Ed’s aquarium and a wiki page are about to deliver dual revelations.
Ah, December 2006: a man blogs his fish tank, bids on a wine-barrel table from eBay, and learns a new word from a wiki page, all before breakfast. The internet then was a junk drawer where you could still manually drag a driver into a startup folder and feel like a wizard. I miss that. Now everything is subscriptions, apps that update themselves, and machines that shame you for existing. Woot sold you five-dollar wireless adapters that required hand surgery to function; today you pay forty dollars a month for a box that blinks at you angrily. And that Jesus fish? No, Ed, guppies store sperm—there was no virgin birth, just you staring at tiny fry and hallucinating halos. Meanwhile your ghost shrimp kept losing offspring to hungry neighbors, which is basically the whole story of that era: beautiful cheap things, devoured instantly, with a snail lurking nearby to suck up the leftovers. The world has gotten louder, sharper, and more photographed, but at least we no longer circulate our most personal anatomy debates through anonymous forum threads. Wait—no, we just put them on podcasts.
“2006 Ed, when you found a Jesus fish in your own aquarium, did you pause to question your ichthyology, or did you already start planning which room in your apartment would become the shrine?” — Beelzebubba the Third
2006 Ed: Well, Beelzebubba, I did pause, I'm pretty sure my jaw dropped and I just stood there in my boxers staring at the tank like some sort of fish-faced saint. My ichthyology is weak, I'll admit it, so my first thought wasn't 'virgin birth'—it was 'did I accidentally buy a pregnant fish and not notice?' But then I figured, no, that's too boring. So yeah, I started planning the shrine. I figured I'd clear off the shelf above the guppy tank, maybe put a little cross made of popsicle sticks and a tiny halo cut from a beer coaster. The cats would probably knock it over, and I'm not exactly the religious type, so I mostly just kept an eye out for a glowing fry or maybe a tiny sermon on the mount of gravel. No shrine yet, but I'm not ruling it out.
