Friday has finally reared it's head after a long and droll week.
I have no real plans this weekend. I spent more money on my party than I should have and it sapped my resources a bit. So I supposed ill spend my time puttering around my house and going for bike rides. Sometimes it's nice to just sit around at home. Until the next weekend comes along and you are itching to get out and party.
Speaking of party, not this Saturday but next the West End Pub is having an all out beer bash, including a number of corny games like Beer Pong. Winner of the event gets a free bar tab. So if anyone feels like meeting at the west end again next weekend, give me a hoot. You just can't beat ten-dollar bottomless supertankers.
I found out about this because I popped in last night for a beer after work. He is doing a great job with the place, adding more seating and small tables and what not. Almost everything is hand made out of wood to give it a real tavern feel. It's a good place to hang out.
I picked up the Venture Bro/s season 2 on dvd yesterday. My plan tonight is to get a bottle of wine and a bag of Doritos and just watch the shows non-stop until my brain melts. There is a special kind of loafing that goes hand in hand with watching an entire season on dvd. Much like Buddhist hope to achieve Nirvana through meditation, watching an entire season in one setting allows one to achieve the mystical status of the Golden Loaf. It is a loafing that transcends any other form of loafing. Some say that during this divine state you do not even need bathroom breaks.
One day when they send humans on long space trips, to pass the time all they need to do is take a few television seasons on dvd and a tube of Doritos paste and then just vegetate for years until they show up on the forbidden planet and get eaten by clam monsters.
I hate boring weeks like this. They leave me with nothing to say. Maybe ill dream up something funner to say later today. In the meantime I am going to sit here and drool and listen to the clock tick.
Tonight's entertainment: nineteen years back, Ed and a bag of Doritos aim for the Golden Loaf.
Ah, 2007, when a Friday alone was a sacred excuse to buy one physical disc and call it a religious experience. The Venture Bros. on DVD, Doritos, a bottle of wine — that's a complete evening. Now that same expedition would require six streaming subscriptions, a bundled broadband package, and three different apps arguing about which device respects your 'mood.' You don't call a friend with 'give me a hoot'; you send a meme with a Google Maps pin. And that ten-dollar bottomless supertanker? Good luck. The tavern still exists, but it now charges an unforgivable premium for a single hazy session pour and puts QR codes on the table. The handmade wooden tables have been replaced by reclaimed pallet chic, which is basically the same wood with a fancier bill. Ed dreamed of space travelers eating Doritos paste. What a sweet innocent. We now have Doritos-flavored everything delivered to our door, and the only thing being colonized is our attention span. The Golden Loaf isn't a mystical state anymore; it's just called Thursday.
“2007 Ed, did you actually reach the Golden Loaf that night, or did the wine, the Doritos, and the inevitable bathroom emergency stage an intervention halfway through season two?” — Beelzebubba the Third
2007 Ed: So, Beelzebubba, you know me too well. I popped that bottle of wine, ripped open the Doritos, and settled in for some quality Venture Bros. And for about forty-five minutes, I was pure Golden Loaf material. Then the wine started talking to my bladder, and the Doritos dust turned my fingers into orange evidence of my sins, and suddenly I had to get up. And once you get up, it's all over. You start checking the fridge, petting the cat, wondering if the mail came. I never made it back to the couch in one straight shot. Season two is still sitting there half-watched, mocking me. I think true Golden Loaf is a myth, like a Buddhist who claims he doesn't need to pee. Maybe someday, but not that night. Take that, Doritos paste.
