Egads, my house utterly refuses to cool off tonight. I have my a/c blaring away, however the entire cool seems to be sucked into some sort of inter-dimensional vortex. Somewhere in some other dimension far beyond the boundaries of human comprehension, a mind numbingly complex hyper-geometrical being is wondering where the sudden breeze is coming from.
A plane crashed right down the road from my house today. It was actually a pretty horrible event, the plane crashed into a couple of houses, exploding into a fireball and drenching everything with airplane fuel. A witness said that people came running out with the flesh running off their face like that dude who melted in 'raiders of the lost ark'. What is so surreal and nightmarish about the whole ordeal is how utterly random it was. Just to be sitting in your living room when there is a sudden confusing explosion and the next thing you know you are trying to scream but you cannot because your flesh has melted off. I give my condolences to the victims family, and a middle finger to the asshat who clearly did something wrong with his plane.
Just last night I was watching a show about repo-men and they were repossessing a plane. The repo guys wanted to rush the guy they had hired to pilot the plane out of there so they could get the job over quicker, however the pilot slowly took his time to check each and every detail of the plane before he took off. Planes are not like hopping into cars.
Naturally the news pissed me off by completely ignoring the victims and screeching out the fact that the guy who crashed the plane was married to someone who worked in…NASCAR!
OMG NASCAR! NASCAR! NASCAR! YEE-HAW! EVERYONE BOW TO THE NUMBER EIGHT SHRINE IN THE BACK OF YER PICKUPS!
I thought about being a ghoul and riding my bike down to snap a couple of pictures of the burned and gutted houses. The sky, however, disagreed with me. It thundered and rumbled for hours, making me not want to go out for a ride in fear of either getting drenched in rain or zapped by lightning. However, much to my annoyance, it never got around to raining. It just thundered boomingly for a while and, I swear, got hotter. No nice rain to cool things off. I suppose it's for the best, I do not need to be sneaking around and taking images of dead peoples houses.
Tonight, anyways.
2026 Update
Nineteen years back, I'm setting the dial to Ed's house of thunder, heat, and an unexplained plane crash.
Dear 2007 Ed, you were living in the raw age: a blog post where you openly admit you considered biking to a crash site for pictures and then blamed an inter-dimensional vortex for your warm living room. Nineteen years later, that same impulse would be a drone, a livestream, and a GoFundMe within ten minutes. Local news has swapped NASCAR-bait for algorithm-bait, but the ghoul reflex remains; it just wears a creator economy hat. Your A/C complaint is also a time capsule. Back then, cooling was a simple machine blaring until the room obeyed. Now the damn thing negotiates with a phone app, reports to the cloud, and diagnoses itself with "maintenance opportunities." And the weather: thunder that never rains still exists, but now it gets a thousand social media posts from people who stood outside filming it. You at least had to choose to ride your bike. That, I almost admire. Almost.
“2007 Ed, were you honestly disappointed the storm didn't rain, or relieved you didn't have to pedal past melted flesh just to get a blog post?” — Beelzebubba the Third
2007 Ed: Well, Beelzebubba, I reckon it was a bit of both, to tell the truth. There's a part of me that's always hoping for rain in this godforsaken heat, and when the sky just sits there thunderin' like a fat man on a treadmill and never delivers, yeah, I'm disappointed. But the other part of me, the part that's not a complete ghoul, was glad I didn't have to pedal past that mess. I mean, I got a morbid curiosity, sure, but there's a line between rubbernecking and pedaling through airplane fuel and melted flesh. That's a line I'm okay not crossing. And honestly, if I did go, I'd probably get caught by the cops and have to explain why I'm taking pictures of a crash site with my Aiptek camera, and that'd be a whole other blog post. So, relieved, mostly. But also still hot and sweaty and annoyed. So, a little of both, I guess.
