Own a Literal Lake Slice & a Manatee-Powered Ski Slope

From The Desk Of Beelzebubba the Third

Beelzebubba here, and I've got a soggy steal for you! You're not buying a house — you're buying an actual slice of Lake Killarney, plus a 1,329-square-foot sponge that's currently holding the water back. Sign here and your private dock will be built directly through your living room, no permit required.

Step right up, bargain hunter, and witness the only parcel in Winter Park that comes with its own personal weather system. This is not a home; this is a liquid asset in the most literal sense. You are purchasing a 40-foot-wide slice of Lake Killarney, surveyed by a drunk manatee and buoyed with orange paint. The existing 1,329-square-foot cottage is less a house and more a sponge with a roof — it's the only thing keeping the lot from achieving full lake status. Water rights included mean you own every molecule, so feel free to charge each ripple a HOA fee.

Now, about 'skiable': yes, the lake has been groomed into a single black-diamond water-ski slope, complete with a chairlift powered by one very tired manatee. You'll also enjoy direct access to your own private dock, which you may build anywhere — including, as the easement allows, through the living room window and into the kitchen island.

'Priced to encourage redevelopment' means we are daring you to tear down the sponge and replace it with a lighthouse-themed mega-dock. Buy the adjacent parcel and you'll assemble a double-lot, giving you two wet spots and the legal right to build a toll bridge between them. Endless possibilities literally: the possibilities are loop-shaped and never terminate.

Dining, shopping, and downtown Orlando are minutes away, delivered to your soggy doorstep by jet ski.