Weird Little Real Estate

PROPERTY FILES

Every regrettable opportunity retained for your records.

20 listing(s) permanently on file.

THE CERTIFIED MAYBE-MALL: 1 ACRE OF 'SOMEDAY' IN ORLANDO'S PAVED PARADISE
OCTOBER 14, 2026
THE CERTIFIED MAYBE-MALL: 1 ACRE OF 'SOMEDAY' IN ORLANDO'S PAVED PARADISE
Beelzebubba the Third here, and have I got a nothing burger with a side of eternity for you! This isn't just land — it's a promise-shaped void where y
Bring Your Horses to This Below-Market Concrete Bunker with a Focal-Point Pond
OCTOBER 12, 2026
Bring Your Horses to This Below-Market Concrete Bunker with a Focal-Point Pond
Beelzebubba here, and do I have a nightmare for you! This Wedgefield Estates bunker is priced below market value because the market took one look and
The Cut-de-Sac Sea: 4,459 Sq Ft of Seamless Indoor-Outdoor Living You'll Regret
OCTOBER 11, 2026
The Cut-de-Sac Sea: 4,459 Sq Ft of Seamless Indoor-Outdoor Living You'll Regret
Beelzebubba the Third here, and I've outdone myself: this brand-new Winter Park monster doesn't just blur the line between indoors and out—it vaporize
THE GATED NIGHTMARE AT REGAL COVE: WHERE THE CITY LIVES IN YOUR GARAGE
OCTOBER 10, 2026
THE GATED NIGHTMARE AT REGAL COVE: WHERE THE CITY LIVES IN YOUR GARAGE
Beelzebubba the Third here, and this one's so good it hurts. You asked for peaceful country living with city conveniences—so I put the city in the gar
Under Construction? More Like Under Imagined: Buy the Air Rights!
OCTOBER 9, 2026
Under Construction? More Like Under Imagined: Buy the Air Rights!
Beelzebubba the Third here, and let me tell you about the most spectacular hole in Florida! For a mere $1.39 million, you can own a promise, a prayer,
Own a Literal Lake Slice & a Manatee-Powered Ski Slope
OCTOBER 8, 2026
Own a Literal Lake Slice & a Manatee-Powered Ski Slope
Beelzebubba here, and I've got a soggy steal for you! You're not buying a house — you're buying an actual slice of Lake Killarney, plus a 1,329-square
Own Lake Killarney's Wettest 'Homesite' — Includes Water Rights and a Sinking Feeling
OCTOBER 7, 2026
Own Lake Killarney's Wettest 'Homesite' — Includes Water Rights and a Sinking Feeling
Beelzebubba the Third here, and I've got the rarest thing in Winter Park: a lakefront lot that's 90% lake and 10% paperwork! Why build on solid ground
Meet the Janus Twinplex: Two Identical Homes, One Shared Spine
OCTOBER 6, 2026
Meet the Janus Twinplex: Two Identical Homes, One Shared Spine
Beelzebubba the Third here, and today I've got a corner-lot conjoined twin that would make a therapist weep. Two 'identical' homes fused back-to-back,
Beating Heart of Winter Park (Literally): Pine Floors, Wine Tower, Drifting Guest House
OCTOBER 5, 2026
Beating Heart of Winter Park (Literally): Pine Floors, Wine Tower, Drifting Guest House
Beelzebubba the Third here, and I have a listing that makes other properties look like a static-filled grayscale nightmare. This 1920s charmer is lite
Open-Concept Void on Randy Lane: A Rare, Decade-Gated, Sub-Zero Time-Loop Pool House
OCTOBER 4, 2026
Open-Concept Void on Randy Lane: A Rare, Decade-Gated, Sub-Zero Time-Loop Pool House
Beelzebubba the Third here, and I've outdone myself: this home doesn't have an open floor plan, it has a philosophical commitment to absence. Step ins
Winter Park Showstopper: 14-Foot Ceilings, a Split Floor Plan, Custom Chef
OCTOBER 3, 2026
Winter Park Showstopper: 14-Foot Ceilings, a Split Floor Plan, Custom Chef
Beelzebubba the Third here, and this Winter Park 'showstopper' has been stopping shows since 2021. We are selling ceilings tall enough to file flight
Glass-Walled, Wolf-Infested, Honey-Drenched Disaster – Yours for $1.6M!
OCTOBER 2, 2026
Glass-Walled, Wolf-Infested, Honey-Drenched Disaster – Yours for $1.6M!
Beelzebubba the Third here, and have I got a labyrinth of lies for you! This open-concept wonder will have you flowing seamlessly into a great deal –
Backup Offers Welcome: The Circular Driveway to Nowhere
OCTOBER 1, 2026
Backup Offers Welcome: The Circular Driveway to Nowhere
Step right up, backup offer! The realtor says 'under contract,' but I, Beelzebubba the Third, am still accepting second-place souls—and this house is
5,400 SQ FT OF LITERAL 'NATURE-INSPIRED' NIGHTMARES ON 2.5 PRIVATE ACRES
SEPTEMBER 30, 2026
5,400 SQ FT OF LITERAL 'NATURE-INSPIRED' NIGHTMARES ON 2.5 PRIVATE ACRES
Beelzebubba the Third here, and I've outdone myself: a house where 'soaring vaulted ceilings' means the second floor has its own weather, and the 'wal
PENTHOUSE CAGE ON PARK AVENUE — SOARING CEILINGS, CRUSHED SOULS, GAS LAMPS
SEPTEMBER 29, 2026
PENTHOUSE CAGE ON PARK AVENUE — SOARING CEILINGS, CRUSHED SOULS, GAS LAMPS
Beelzebubba the Third here, and I have never been more delighted to present a property that truly captures the spirit of 'boutique' — small, overprice
The Bamboo-Barricaded Shuttle-Watching Lakefront Doom Estate
SEPTEMBER 28, 2026
The Bamboo-Barricaded Shuttle-Watching Lakefront Doom Estate
Welcome, mortal, to the only lakefront in Wedgefield where your morning coffee comes with a side of NASA-era sonic booms and your backyard is a botani
LAKE HART'S SPANISH SURVEILLANCE MASTERPIECE: 10.42 ACRES OF TRACTOR-FILLED DOOM
SEPTEMBER 27, 2026
LAKE HART'S SPANISH SURVEILLANCE MASTERPIECE: 10.42 ACRES OF TRACTOR-FILLED DOOM
I, Beelzebubba the Third, have outdone myself: a 'Spanish Masterpiece' that is literally a painting, a 10.42-acre gated prison with a tractor in the l
THE STUDS OF WINTER PARK: A Corner-Lot Catastrophe With Olympic-Grade Bricks
SEPTEMBER 26, 2026
THE STUDS OF WINTER PARK: A Corner-Lot Catastrophe With Olympic-Grade Bricks
Beelzebubba the Third here, and I've outdone myself: this 'masterpiece' is a literal skeleton of a house, stripped to the studs and dressed in lies. Y
The Time-Dogleg Villa: A Mediterranean Chrono-Curse on the Fourth Fairway
SEPTEMBER 25, 2026
The Time-Dogleg Villa: A Mediterranean Chrono-Curse on the Fourth Fairway
Step right up, you lucky soul! I'm Beelzebubba the Third, and I've got the key to a house that'll make your calendar weep. This isn't just a home; it'
The 3,180-Square-Foot Open-Concept Oops: Where the Floor Flows, the Owners Never Left, and the Barn Doors Deserve Exorcism
SEPTEMBER 24, 2026
The 3,180-Square-Foot Open-Concept Oops: Where the Floor Flows, the Owners Never Left, and the Barn Doors Deserve Exorcism
Welcome, welcome, foolish mortal, to the listing that has me positively giddy! Beelzebubba the Third here, and I have a home so 'well-loved' that the